Imagine having a life that fits you absolutely perfectly, like a suit (or a ballgown--do you) that was tailored by your fairy godmother. Nothing is so tight that it's constricting, or so loose that you get lost in it. There are no pinch points, nothing itches or chafes. Nothing sneaks up your backside or falls off your shoulder when you move. The style effortlessly broadcasts your personality, the color is flattering in every light. Every single inch is simply sublime, utterly faultless, entirely you.
How would you find a life like that? In spite of what our culture might suggest, you can't buy it with money. Lifes R Us isn't a thing; this life isn't something you can walk into a store and hand over your Mastercard to obtain. You certainly can't copy the pattern from someone else, though many of us have tried. Someone else's life might fit them perfectly. But you? A lot of the pinching, itching, and chafing in your life right now can probably be blamed on this strategy. While you can draw inspiration from the style of another, this flawless fit has to be tailored just for you...and fairy godmothers are hard to come by.
I recently asked my social media community if they felt their lives fit them to a T, and one woman answered that hers did, after much work on her own part. Sometimes, she said, you have to be your own fairy godmother.
BINGO.
The perfect fit is, indeed, tailored, and you are the consummate costumer. It's you who analyzes the current fit: too tight here, too long there, this needs a tuck, that color is awful. It's you who cuts away the excess, and who goes in search of new material where extra room is needed. You choose the color, the sheen, the sheer volume of life in which you want to be wrapped. Perhaps you're a spartan dresser, preferring clean lines in minimal pieces. Or perhaps you're the princess ballgown, with all the taffeta and bling. It's not the style that matters; it's how the style suits you. It's how the life you're living suits you.
To step into the shoes of the sartor requires you to begin at the beginning of all things: awareness. If your life is something you throw on in the dark every morning without a single thought, if you're living a hand-me-down or a family heirloom that you never even glance at, if you use alcohol or overworking or social media or Ben & Jerry's to numb your discomfort, you're not just abdicating your role as tailor; you don't even realize you're dressed. You're living an alternate universe experience of the Emperor in his new clothes. Instead of being naked and preening over your imagined outfit, you're fully clothed in something while pretending it doesn't exist.
Your life is a creation, no more or less than a suit or a gown is a creation. Your life is your creation. You have chosen every fold, every stitch, every inch of life that covers you, day in and day out. You may not have chosen these elements consciously--that's why awareness is the first step. Awareness of this, that you hold a magic every bit as spectacular as the one that crafted Cinderella's glass slippers. Bibbidi, bobbidi, boo.
You may notice resistance to this idea if, after reading this, you're realizing that your current life fits like a steel wool straight jacket. If the idea of having crafted that jacket all by your bad self feels repulsive, look at it this way. If you accept this responsibility, you can grab the pinking shears and get to work. You can have that abrasive get-up off in no time, and be happily occupied with creating something much more comfortable. Or, you can insist that you were forced into the Scotch-Brite suit by forces beyond your control...and you can keep wearing it. It's called free will.
Once you are aware of this truth--that you are the sole creator, the only one responsible for the weight, feel, and fit of your current life--it's time to hit the dressing room. That old thing you're wearing right now? It's undoubtedly time for a change (unless, of course, you're already in the perfect fit!). But how will you know what you might want to keep? What absolutely must go? What could be altered, updated, or Bedazzled?
Crafting your perfect fit is a process. It involves trying on all the things. The perfect outfit starts at your shoes and ends at your hat. In between there are tops and bottoms, foundational garments, layers, and of course, accessories. A perfectly fitted life has just as many components. Your thoughts and beliefs, actions, associations with others, your work, hobbies, and habits, the food you eat, the bed you sleep on, and how much time you spend there--these and so many more things come together to create a sumptuous fit.
To see how things feel, you've got to try them on. We're not talking about something you can order from Amazon. Remember, this look, this life, is crafted. It's custom-built. Not available in stores. You need to start pinning and pinking your life, exploring different thoughts, new boundaries, conscious language; a hobby here, a habit there. Like bangles and chokers, fedoras and Mary Janes, each new aspect you try on will add a new feeling and flare.
You'll know right away that some aren't for you, but be brave enough to experiment. Don't assume you hate blaze orange. You might surprise yourself! Some pieces may be pleasing individually, but eventually you decide that they clash with the rest of your get-up. That's OK. A cohesive ensemble is still available. Keep taking things on and casting them off! Eventually you'll find the perfect ensemble. Or you might just find the piece that you love so much that you are willing to shirk everything else to keep it! You'll know when you've found the perfect mix of capsule items, timeless articles, and excellent accessories when you feel fabulous, like a billboard ad for effortless comfort.
Once you have your style, own it. Revel in it! This kind of glamor is made to be shown off. Love every inch of the life you've created, right up until the moment that you don't. You are forever evolving. As you learn, grow, and heal, your life will shift with you. Allow the fit to be altered. Cut away what used to work but no longer feels like satin against your skin. Make more room where things have gotten too slim. Add a pop of color when you're feeling sassy; revert to trusted neutrals when the season feels right. Your style should change as you do. Nothing lasts forever, including the perfect fit.
Which brings us back to awareness. Once you've trimmed away the excess, straightened the seams, settled on the perfect fabric, and accessorized your ass off, and while you're thoroughly enjoying your regalia, stay aware. Feel your life, right in the moment, as you are living it. If it starts to feel uncomfortable, perhaps an alteration is appropriate. Stay in touch with who you are becoming, and honor your evolution by returning to the dressing room again and again. It's time to try on something new when what you're wearing no longer feels fabulous.
You deserve the perfect fit, the life that glides along your skin like silk and wraps your soul in solace. Cashmere or cotton, leather or lace, your perfect fit is out there. It may be on the other side of a few accessories, or you may need a total makeover. You might have worn it in the past and lost it somewhere, or you may still be anticipating how it will feel. But it does exist, it is possible. Your perfect fit is waiting for you to discover it, to recognize it, to own it. It's waiting for you to realize...you are your own fairy godmother.
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